So I’m back but I’m going to take it slow. I figured I’d explain, hopefully briefly, what’s been going on the past few months. I’ve mentioned before that I struggle with anxiety. Over the past 6-9 months however, it had gotten severely worse than the past few years. At the end of September, I finally threw my hands up and knew I had to see my doctor about it. It was getting to the point where at least every other night (if not 5 days straight) I had anxiety so badly that I couldn’t fall asleep, sometimes it taking 4 hours for me to finally pass out. The anxiety would be about work, money, friends, even just the weather would give me anxiety. There was no reason for really most of it, but that’s the trouble with mental illness – sometimes it doesn’t make sense and your rational brain knows that, but the anxious part of your brain just floods over all of it. I was having anxiety attacks at least once a week, sometimes more. The biggest anxiety attack came on vacation back in June where I was sobbing inconsolably (and hopefully semi-silently) in the back of a crowded tourist van. Yeah, it was bad.
Cut to the end of September and talking to my doctor. I explained to her all of that above and some more things (of which I don’t feel comfortable sharing here) and she determined medication would help me quite a bit. I’m just about one month in, which is when they say it really starts making a difference and…. I have to agree. I feel so much better. I still have moments of anxiety, sometimes in public and sometimes at home at night, but it’s no where close to where it was. I know I need to give it more time and I 100% do not want to stop taking it just because I feel better now. It’s a process and I’m ready to take that journey. My doctor suggested therapy as an additional resource and as soon as Halloween is over (we’re doing a massive Haunted House at work and I won’t have a free second until November) I’m going to call several offices and make appointments.
Anyways. The whole point of this post was to share with you that #ScumbagBrain is being dealt with and things are looking up. I’m ready to resume normal life and I’m excited for the next few months. 🙂
Take care of yourself always, physically and mentally. You deserve it. <3